After a long summer off-it was truly a very beautiful summer for my family and me-I am STILL adjusting to the School Schedule.
Each Monday morning, I take a deep breath, and sometimes I feel like I don’t exhale until Friday afternoon is in my sights.
This year I have kids at two different schools across town from each other. Thankfully the start and stop time for one lies within the others’ so it is actually doable to drop them off and pick them up. Also, my husband drops them off which is a beautiful thing. Meanwhile I have baby girl who requires a nap each day. She would probably benefit from 2, but there are Bigs to pick up.
I walk through my apartment door at 4:15 on M, 6 on T, 5:45 on W, 5:45 on Th and 5:45 on F IF all goes according to plan.
It’s a conundrum.
I spoke to my agent last month: “I know it’s time to renew my contract. I am so happy that you want me to renew. I just can’t audition right now. I want to feed my family dinner-I want to be the first mother in NYC to cook for and feed her family. That’s my goal this year.”
Even though I have put myself in retirement, I have had a handful of wrangling jobs crop up. In fact the day after that conversation, Ralph Lauren asked me to wrangle in Nantucket for a week. Tested. Tempted. I passed. It’s good because Phoebe was still in the trenches with school transition and I would have missed Pickle learning to walk.
See? This is why I am quitting. (I’m not quitting, I am just on extended pause, the kind where the DVD Player actually turns off because you have kept it on pause for too long.)
Pickle has a casting here and there and that is still fun to go to, but it still invites unwanted stress into this schedule that I am trying to stick to.
I wake up, try to exercise (it’s been on hold for the past week or so because I had a visitor return after a 2 year hiatus that put my body and spirit out of WHAKITY WHACK), then I work on cooking dinner before or during Pickle’s morning nap. It is impossible to cook dinner after I walk through the door that late each day (see schedule above).
After I make dinner I straighten up the house, get ready for the day, feed Pickle lunch when she wakes up. Sometimes I have a walking errand in the neighborhood, sometimes I have an appointment with a friend or a casting for Pickle. By 2 it’s time for the REAL event of the day–ALL 3 KIDS at the same time-homework/practicing/dinner/baths/bed…Around 9 PM I get some free time that lasts about an hour, because if I go to bed past 10 I really regret it.
So for 1 hour a day I get to just be. My time is so valuable. I recently had some teachers at school wanting to have a meeting with me after I had made some decisions about my daughters participation (or lack thereof) in an event they wanted her to participate in. I expressed that there was nothing that would change my position and meeting is a waste of my precious time. My time. MY. TIME.
I feel comfortable and calm and good about my decision to quit work, but there are moments when I still feel a bit in limbo.
There are so many things I need to get done, a huge long list and blogging is starting to get difficult to keep up. I need to journal as part of my balance so I need to figure out what role the blog plays in all of this.
The end. Stream of thought over.