I tried to wean the Pickle when she was 10 months old. After an entire day trying everything I could do to send her the message that we were done now, she won.
I knew my next opportunity would be when I could reason with her or communicate more clearly with her. I decided September would be my next target date, as I wanted to get through the road trip and Iceland with the use of the Boobs!
In Iceland, as I was taking a picture of the Bigs, holding Pickle, I said: SMILE! I watched Pickle very intently put a smile on her face. I was amazed that she understood me and followed that direction, and in that moment I knew my next window had opened! She understands!
The morning after we returned from Iceland, Jason was home, so it was a good first day to insist on the weaning.
Every time she went for my shirt, I explained that we weren’t going to do this anymore and that there were other ways we could show affection for each other. I just about went berserk as I became more and more engorged and in turn, more and more agitated. I was devastated the entire day and near tears as I went through the motions. As I tucked her in bed without nursing her for the first time in over a year, I then retreated to a hot shower and let my swollen breasts do the crying.
The rest of the week was painful. This time around I have dealt with many blocked ducts, and so it felt like every single duct was blocked at the same time. I couldn’t tolerate hugging or Pickle banging her head into me for a rough cuddle. I was looking forward to the return of my body and also so very sad that this was over.
Quickly Pickle changed. She insisted on feeding herself with a fork, she took more risks in learning to walk, and she slept more soundly and for longer stretches. She grew up over night.
It was the right thing to do for both of us, but boy was that hard.