I’d rather have lice than bed bugs (looking on the bright side)


I wish I was an inventor, and I could invent a contraption that you just scan over your head and it would, with 100% accuracy indicate whether or not you had a lice situation.  And the second version of that would have a screen that detailed how many live bugs and how many nits. And the third version would tell you the degree of nit you had: newly laid, about to hatch, empty. And the fourth version would tell you the names of your lice and their family tree.

And I would be rich.

But seriously, here’s the thing.  I do check the kids heads, probably once a month when there is no obvious itching or news of someone in the class with lice.  When there IS news of lice in the class, and when I know the child is friends with my child, I am on high alert, checking right away.

Like last week, a friend was diagnosed with lice so I did a quick check in the morning before school and found what I believe could have been/probably was 1 nit.  That afternoon, with more time on my hands I did a more thorough check and only found a dead louse sitting on top of Lolly’s head, and that’s it.  I found this to be weird and mysterious, but also believed that if there is a lice problem at the school, that it is not totally out of the question that a dead louse from somewhere in the school could have flown onto Lolly’s head.

I checked her off as lice-free and went on my trip.

This morning she had an itch and so I followed it and THOUGHT I saw something moving, but it could have been dandruff too, so I got out my hair dryer for a quick check (this is how I found lice on Phoebz last summer, I started blow drying her hair and bugs started crawling out of her scalp. ew), and I swear something went flying out of her hair, but I have no idea what that was.  I decided to just do a proper check.

I found 1 very mature nit.

Obviously, there is a lice problem at school.  Obviously, Lolly is at the beginning or pre-beginning stage of POSSIBLY having lice right now. So, what do I do? Check EVERY DAY?  Wait a week so that when I check maybe I will find more than just one nit? Because honestly, after having checked 3 out of 4 sections of hair and finding nothing, to find 1 nit in the last quadrant, makes me think: Did I miss something in the other 3? Where is the bugger that laid this thing? Was that the dead louse I found? Did he just lay his very last egg and then give up the ghost? Must I check every three days and drive us all batty?  How often should I wash those @#($& sheets?

And I also just want to shave her head.

And frankly, there is little time in our schedule for lice checking.  Now everything is off for the day because Lolly didn’t get her practicing done this morning, she was in the hot seat.  And then Jason checks my head, and bless the man for trying, but I am thinking: he isn’t really doing this right.  AND! I don’t think other parents in the school take this as seriously as I do, so the problem is just going to continue. AND! it is difficult on a body to  bend and twist so that your head lamp is in just the right position for optimal lice/nit-viewing, and with a 4 pound baby having her Pickle Party in your abdomen, it does make it more difficult.

The other night I was telling Jason that he works very hard to earn his income. However,  if we are going to compare the proportion of dollar signs to the amount of “work” we do, whenever lice is on the table, my proportions are much more skewed than his (especially since my paycheck lately has been quite low compared to previous years).  Oh Pickle, I forgive you (pregnant people aren’t that castable see?) and you are my favorite daughter because you don’t have lice. yet.

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10 responses to “I’d rather have lice than bed bugs (looking on the bright side)

  1. oh my gosh! this is intense w/ you and the lice. i think i’d be going nutty. i’ve only had one lice scare w/ my kids (thankfully it turned out to be nothing), and even that drove me crazy. good luck!!! you need to lice bomb that school!!!

  2. Shannon Hyer

    I have never commented here, but read your blog pretty regularly. I know your friend Carrie L. from when we were in the Pasadena Ward together…anyway, I feel your lice pain. My oldest daughter had it while it went through the costumes for a school musical. I ended up hiring a company to come to the house and de-louse her…they are meticulous and guarantee that your child will be back at school the next day. Expensive, but so, so worth it. Also, they say it’s not really necessary to wash everything as lice have to have a certain temperature, and once they’re off the human, they die very quickly…Good Luck!

  3. how maddening!!! i remember when my daughter was a baby, at a home daycare, one particular family brought it in TWICE. needless to say, we didn’t return after the 2nd time. My guess is the other parents are not taking the time you are to de-louse their kids! ugh.

  4. Seriously?! I wish I could gift you a lice free world!

  5. Make an app 4 that! Hop on it right away before any other diligent mom does. Then you ‘ll be thanking the life. 4 making u wealthy.

  6. Ughh!!! In the case of lice, I am so thankful for boys and will continue to cut their hair very short until lice are an extinct species (not likely, I know). My mom taught kindergarten and I grew up being on constant lice alert (although miraculously we only had it a couple of times). Hope they stay away!

  7. Helen Knowles

    I think there is something going on at the school. In all my years of dealing with younger children (mine) who had lice (only once), I think I’d be wondering how much the school plays into this. You could try to have a professional company come out and treat, but the fact that the girls keep getting this makes me think the other parents aren’t doing what they need to do to assure that their children are FOL. Maybe it’s time to talk to the administrators. I remember I was at Hair Cuttery once and someone came in with their child for a hair cut. When the stylist saw evidence of lice, the whole salon freaked and they wouldn’t finish giving the child the haircut. I know you have been vigilant about this, but something isn’t right.

  8. they are cukoo… emidemic: affecting many persons at the same time, and spreading from person to person in a locality where the disease is not permanently prevalent.
    2.extremely prevalent; widespread.

  9. Just from reading your blog and twitter posts about it, even *I* know it’s an epidemic. How frustrating!!! Obviously you are super diligent about checking and treating your kids (I’ve seen those pictures of you with that awesome headlamp!), it’s crazy that other parents aren’t. I’m sure you also have nightmares or hallucinations of little tiny moving things all the time! My sister in Seattle took her kids to a “lice salon” and she said it was great, it was called “Lice seeing you.” :) But it sounds like you guys would live there for as much as your poor kiddos end up with it. Hope you get a lice-free Summer!!

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