December 4th, 2011
Really it’s been going on for weeks now…but Lolly is like a little loyal golden retriever who knows her owner is with child before the owner does.
1. A few weeks ago while reading a story to them before bed, Lolly started poking at my torso.
“This is very squishy.” (poking at my stomach)
~”Thank you…why are you poking my stomach anyway? It’s not that squishy.”
“Well, not as squishy as your bum.”
2. The next week she brought home a THANKFUL chart she had made herself at school. In the middle was the word Thankful with a giant circle, and then around the circle little lines connecting to tiny circles, each with a word of something she was grateful for written in it. She went around the circle telling me each thing and stopped and got embarrassed when she got to one, and started to erase it.
“Wait, what does that say?” already knowing what it said.
“You’re grateful for a baby brother? but you don’t have a baby brother.”
~Going to erase it, “that’s why I am going to erase it.”
“No, leave it.” And she did.
3. On Thanksgiving morning, after I had gone shopping for some new tops that would be a little more loose fitting but heaven help me NOT maternity, and strategized on what I could get away with wearing that would read loose, hipster, cool clothes and ALSO hide my secret, I was wearing one of my new outfits. After the parade, I opened the door to welcome the Posse home.
“How was the parade?”
~”You look pregnant.”
“Thanks a lot.”
Phoebe: “Lolly, you just called Mom FAT!”
~”No, she just looks pregnant.”
“How was the parade?”
4. On the train ride to school I was again wearing an outfit that I thought would buy me some time. We were standing up on the train together and she started with the poking again.
“It’s so tight.”
~”What is it normally?”
~”Leave my body alone.”
5. The other night Lolly needed to take a bath but she pointed out the tub was dirty. I went in to clean it out and while I was leaning over the tub cleaning out the grit, she said with a wink in her tone:
“Be careful Mama Bear.”
That night when she was saying prayers Jason told me she mentioned something to the effect: Thank you for Mom and Dad making a baby, Me.
6. A few nights ago I was sitting at the kitchen table shivering and proclaimed I was FREEZING…she jumped right up, stood on the chair that I had just left, because I was freezing and going to get more clothes on, and started rubbing my arms: “It’s going to be okay, we’ll get you warmed up.”
Basically, I know she knows, but she just won’t say it, and I think it’s really rad and also I want her to be surprised when the time comes for me to tell her.