Each person who came to visit me: nurse, surgeon’s assistant, anesthesiologists assistant, surgeon, resident, asked me some questions and gave me some information. My favorite question: In your own words, what surgery are you having today? I got that twice or maybe 3 times.
I liked most of them, and they all seemed confident and nice, so I calmed down quite a bit. As we walked together as a team from my Price is Right holding room to the OR, the resident kept conversation with me. He put a little hair cover on my hair and then said: “I feel like I recognize you.” I said, “if you watch tv, then you do. I am a commercial actor.” The nurse then wanted to know which ones she had seen me on, but he continued: “I don’t want to embarrass you, but have you done feminine hygiene products?” Of course now I’m falling in love. [For the record, I think he felt comfortable asking me that because my LAST question to my team before our little walk: IS there ANY chance I will defecate under anesthesia? (hey, the last time I was having an extended stay at the hospital, poop and babies were involved).]
I thought he was referring to the nuvaring because my clipboard is still circulating in doctor’s offices, but he was certain he had seen me in a tampon commercial and even referenced the smooth tip. “If I were a woman, I would use those.” It was pretty awesome because even if it wasn’t the same tampon commercial (I shot that years ago), he was the first person to ever recognize me and talk to me about a tampon commercial, plus he was really cute and a doctor.
I said: “I like you…keep talking to me…” because have you ever walked yourself willingly into an operating room? It’s pretty freaky. If you haven’t here is what it looks like: It’s BRIGHT and WHITE and full of stuff that you do not recognize. It’s freezing cold–like I’d say 55 degrees. The table is really tiny and skinny and you lay down and immediately start shivering until they put the warm blankets on you. The room bustles with commotion as every body in there has a job they need to do.
Cute doctor stayed right with me talking to me about this and that while nerdy doctor did my iv. Now a sidenote about the iv. When I had my HB08 a little doctor girl in the ER tried 3 times unsuccessfully to put an iv in my hand. It was the most painful thing….well, until I woke up from a septoplasty.
Now the anesthesiologist guys, they have all these drugs…so what’s cool about THIS hand iv is nerdy doc took some time finding my vein and once he did, he first shot my hand full of Novocaine….nice….so that I had no pain or bruising for that matter, for the whole hand iv thing. That was a nice perk.
Cute doctor was mentioning all this post op stuff and prescriptions and Affrin came up and I’m all–hold it! Dr. Woo said Just Say No to Affrin, and then Dr. Woo chimes in—yeah, she’s not allowed to have Affrin. I thought was sort of funny and part of me thought that didn’t really happen, but I’m pretty sure it did. I can’t remember how my conversation with cute doctor ended, but after I got some sedative in my hand iv, I remember saying: “If I don’t see ya’ll–THANKS for everything.” The oxygen mask was placed on my nose and the next thing that happened….
Did I have a near death experience? no. But it felt like a NEAR near-death experience. One of the things I was most scared about for the surgery was coming out of the anesthesia part. I knew I would get an anti-nausea, so that dispelled my fears quite a bit, but here is what I remember:
A voice: “Kristy, we’re all done, can you _______” move my hips? move my shoulders? It was something associated with moving, because I felt myself moved, maybe onto a different bed?
Next I felt sleepy of course and like it was extremely difficult to find my air. Somewhere in the recesses of my mind I was awake and alert saying: Is anyone paying attention to the fact that she can’t breathe?