Thrill

Could they look ANY more thrilled that it is the first day of school?

Parent Teacher Conferences

“Your daughter likes to talk with her neighbor…..but, she get’s her work done, so it’s ok.”

Said about both my daughters during their parent-teacher conferences. And that’s where the similarities end.

Actually, what they also have in common is that they love school, learning and they are doing well in school.

Phoebe is my reader. Lolly is my writer (who knew?).  Phoebe loves geography and Lolly, math. Phoebe will sing until she falls asleep and Lolly asks to practice (her flute) more than once a day.

The girl drama that followed Phoebe around for a few years has now found a new prey–poor Lolly…I never thought I’d hear this before: “I’m worried about her confidence.”

What??

I’m trying not to take it to heart, but rather work on empowering my little girl, who really should have been named Moxie.

Overall, I am pleased with their progress.  It’s nice having the word BRIGHT and YOUR DAUGHTER (both) in the same sentence. I am blessed to overflowing really, and I strive (strive I tell you) to shine a light on their path so that BRIGHT it stays.

 

 

Lolly & Me

I went on a field trip with kindergarten this week.  We attended THREE at the Swedish Cottage-Marionette Theatre in Central Park.  It was so great to see the world through the eyes of 5-year-olds.  The kids are studying trees right now, so they were pretty excited to collect tree parts on the way home.

I took a gajillion photos that turned out really well.  Here is one of the Lollster and me.  As much as I love being a Lady who Lunches now that my kids are in school for hours a day, I do miss the Lolly-Mommy time that we used to have each day.

Central Park can be so magical.

Day 1

As we approached the school building, Lolly reluctantly held my hand while crossing the street, claiming that school girls don’t hold hands.  She also mocked me and said: “You’re gonna cry!”

I told her all I felt was happy and so I didn’t think I was going to cry.  Then we met together as a school: students, parents, teachers.  I watched the new little faces gather together and find each other, and I had a few flashbacks to the ups and downs of last year when I knew all of those kids were getting offers for the school but Lolly was not.  I quickly brushed that aside and reminded myself that her kindergarten teacher had  a nametag with her name on it and that she had rightfully earned her place there.

On this morning of the first day of school, the newbies (not many of us) learned the school song and as we sang it together, that’s when I got a tear.  I was so happy to be in one room with both of my children singing together, a joy of life.  I tapped Lolly on the shoulder: I shed a little tear!

Her response: ” I KNEW IT! “

And Speaking of School… Part 2

When I attended the open house for Blue School in the fall and then later in the year for subsequent required visits, I noticed that the space went from white, open and airy, to a living scrapbook of their school experiences.  Teachers and students alike posted art projects, large-worded summaries of an outing/experience, photographs everywhere, sculptures, hanging things, lights etc. etc.  There were always electronics out on tables to be taken apart (old computers, phones, typewriters etc.)

The space played a major part in this multi-faceted play.  I was so excited that the space itself was such a presence for the kids.  Everyone left their shoes in the lobby and walked with inside shoes around the area and kids could visit any classroom they wanted, the art studio and with permission the wonder room (a room with a lighted floor, padded 3-D shapes & a rock climbing wall).

Kids had water table time, glow time (black light on), free play, art stations, snack, music time, Chinese & Spanish classes, yoga, movement, art, and on and on.  Objects in the classroom were labeled with the children’s photo so that they knew where their items belonged.  Unfortunately for Lolly, the photo they used for her was one they took at the playground playdate on the first day of school, in which she chose to cross her eyes and stick out her tongue.

Outside the door was a feelings chart, where everyday the children chose their emotion and placed their photo under that emotion.  Lolly chose SILLY every. single. day.

In this free-form environment Lolly blossomed.  She was encouraged to express herself, her spirit never quashed by rigid rules and requirements.  She was able to freely flow through her day, emotions, friends and joy.  About once a week when I picked her up she was exhausted, and the rest of the time she was very chatty and excited about her day (after reluctantly leaving the classroom to go home with her boring Mom).  I asked: What did you learn today?  Her response was often: We don’t LEARN at blue school…we just play!  When I told her teacher’s that, they smiled and nodded.

Whenever I attended a Parent/Teacher conference, her teachers had lists and lists of specific details about Lolly and her behaviors, interactions with other students, new ideas, skills and abilities.  The discussions we had about her showed me that not only was she getting more-than-adequate attention, but that her teachers genuinely cared about her.  The affect of this atmosphere was evident as Lolly showed love to others and matured in expressing herself. These conferences were a stark contrast to Phoebe’s conferences: brief, checklisty, little specifics about Phoebe as a whole person-good citizen (as my friend Ashley would put it).

The Blue School provided a recommended reading list, which I pulled from for my Mommy College this year.  I learned a lot of interesting techniques and theories, not all of which I agree with, but it definitely helped me understand where the teachers and the school were coming from: no forced apologies, very little “NO”, lots of encouraging and letting an idea take flight, a strong desire for each child to feel safe and never intimidated.  After experiencing this to an extreme at Blue School I think there are many pros to their philosophies, but I also believe in a good old-fashioned scolding–BECAUSE I SAID SO!!!!!!  Or maybe that’s just me stroking my weaknesses….

Overall, I couldn’t be happier (sing it…you know you want to…..), and I am so blessed to have had Lolly attend blue school for a year.  It was worth the crazy commute (4 days a week I had to pick her up at 1 pm on the opposite end of the city as Phoebz, 2 of those days I had to attend Phoebe’s school for a meeting in between 9 and 1, so it was back and forth and back and forth) and expense (no vacation 2009-2010).

So, there it is. That is where my daughter went to school. She will not be returning for kindergarten (boo! yeah!) but if the stars had aligned and she was attending there this fall, I would be thrilled.  I am excited to see where the school goes…the oldest grade this upcoming year is 2nd grade, but I know the blue school guys have big ideas (one idea I heard was 5 years of high school! what?), and it will be interesting to see where those big ideas take them.  To read someone else’s opinion of the Blue School, click here.

PS. I WISH I could list the first names of the kids in Lolly’s class….TOO much….but alas, gotta protect our young ones.  But, I will tell you one of the mom’s I met, her name was Piglet.

And Speaking of School…

I intentionally do not blog about school on this website to protect my children and their friends.  It kills me sometimes to refrain from blogging about school issues, it really does, but I have committed to keeping specifics about school out of the blog.

Until today.

Today I am going to blog about my daughter’s pre-k experience at The Blue School.

I am trying to scoop through my brain matter and remember where I first heard of The Blue School.  I am thinking it was probably from my savvy friend Heather who first told me about Blue School, but if it was YOU, just tell me in the comments. Needless to say, when I heard The Blue Man Group started a school, I became absolutely set on Lolly going to that school.

Scouring the website, visiting for an open house, playdate (part of the admissions process), and parent interviews further solidified my strong desire for her to attend The Blue School!  One of my motivations was that I knew Phoebe was at her own cool school, and if Lolly didn’t get in as well, she would have a cool school of her own. I would justify the private school tuition for k-8 by thinking of it as divided by 2 kids, since Phoebe’s school is free.  I am fine with paying for pre-k because the public school system and pre-k admissions is even more infuriating then k-12.  I prefer to duck out of it all and just pay for pre-k.  Phoebe went to a local Catholic school in our neighborhood at the time and it was a great experience but nothing like blue school.

When I attended the open house I saw many couples together dressed up in suits and dresses, hair and nails done, and I was completely intimidated by the crowd.  I was wearing my I HEART QUEENS tee and my crazy granny pink glasses, and Jason was with the kiddos.  I felt I was either dressed completely right for the blue school or completely wrong.  I perservered anyway because I got the sense that these couples were applying to like 12 different schools, and I was just applying to 1. BLUE. School. DONE.

We went through all 5 steps of the process and I felt doubtful that she would get in, to the point where I didn’t set aside any money for the tuition.  Lo and behold, we got the confirmation email on the date that the private school peops set aside as the day to allow kids into the school, and then I had to scramble to find the pennies to send her there…it all turned out okay in the end, but it was a little panic moment.

This post is already too long, so I will end with this: Though it was a financial sacrifice, it was worth every penny, and I’ll tell you why in the next post.

9 months ago

9 months ago yesterday Lolly had an assessment for school.  It was for the same school that Phoebe attends (heretofor referred to as School B).  Pretty much since the day I found out Phoebe got into her school at the end of December 2006, I was gearing up for the day when Lolly would try to get in.  For me, as a mom, the vision is that the kids share their school experience (at School B).

Unfortunately the school has no official sibling policy and not every sibling that has followed has been admitted.  Plus WAY more girls get thrown into the mix, and you also have to PASS (surpass?) the assessment, so I just felt like a lot was going against Lolly’s odds.

The school journey has been a point of stress (remember that afghan I furiously crocheted?), and I haven’t blogged about it because I try to keep school out of the blogosphere. Let me see if I can sum it up a bit:

~Nonrefundable deposit due for Lolly’s current school (School A) before I find out about the 5 other schools we applied to. Huge decision to make: deposit or not?
~Made some calls, fished around, tried to figure out if making said deposit was a wise idea: NOT a good idea, because her chances of getting into Phoebe’s school (B) were looking great!
~Got a few calls from that school (B) telling me things were looking great!
~Lolly takes an hour-long assessment for a different top-rated school(you following? this is school C)…we think she’s pretty smart and practice tests went really well. (Later we found out she scored a whopping 77% woot!)
~Asked to be called in for  a second assessment at 1st choice school (B).
~Rejected by school D, which was a long shot at best, but still had to try because it would have been super convenient…same neighborhood as Phoebe’s school.  Yes this is the first mention of School D, you’re not lost.
~Wait-listed by local charter school (School E) (later accepted, passed on it)
~Passed on current school (A) after being given a second and third chance to make that large, non-refundable deposit.
~Rejected from the school (C) in which she was required to score 98%, but remember, only scored 77%–we knew this was coming because the test results arrived before the rejection letter.
~Wait-listed for 1st choice (Phoebe’s) school (B), found out a few days before Phoebe’s Brithday Weekend….oh yeah that was GUH-REAT timing. I have never heard of someone wait-listed getting in. I figured WAIT-listed was just a nicer way of rejecting her.
~Accepted! To the local public school down the street (school E).  One place would have her, so that’s where we would go…either that or home school, which was an option one fine day when Lolly & Mommy were getting a long swimmingly for like 5 minutes, and then that idea was quickly thrown out the window.
~Made a plan to try to get into Phoebe’s school (B) next year (2 spots are open for 1st grade)…met with school administrators, fellow-moms who had had kids rejected for K and then got into 1st…made some game plans.
~Began recorder lessons as part of step 1 in the plan mentioned above, signed up for the necessary classes for further training in the fall, made more deposits (this time, refundable!)
~Made peace with Lolly going to School E.

And then, in London during one of the few hours (4 total) that I checked email that week, I got a magic email! Suddenly Lolly is accepted to Phoebe’s school (B).  A spot has opened, it belongs to her!!!!!

And my fall outlook is drastically changed and my vision has gone from a few pieces collaged together to make a beautiful avant garde art piece, to a complete, bonafide portrait of two sisters experiencing a piece of the city together.

I had to wait 2 months from start to finish to find out about Phoebz, and 9 months for Lolly, and yes, the taste of acceptance is much sweeter the second time around.

Third Person Thursday

She’s sure there are more, but since Lolly was born, she can count 5 times that she has just sat down on the kitchen floor and had a good cry. Yesterday, for number Five, she managed to stay upright, just leaned on the high bar counter in the kitchen and let it out.

The voicemail was one minute and thirty seconds of agony. It was interrupted by a text message or something so she had to start it over again, more agony.

The word?: her dear Lolly did not get into her sister’s school. The only school she wanted her to attend, her hobby of crocheting taken up solely to distract her from thinking about whether or not she would make the cut, was now without reach.  In a matter of minutes, the wait, over.

She called Jason to tell him, and he immediately began a bullet-point list of what they had to be grateful for, like he had rehearsed it, like he was waiting for that phone call.  She listened, breathed a little, sobbed some more, and then she had to go.

She had her annual check up and after an hour of being told she was healthy (huh? : ) ) and getting poked thrice just to find a vein, she then rushed to pick up her bright, contrary spirit of a child, little Lolly. They got donuts and bought a new outfit for her, a trench for mom, and a birthday present for sister. She didn’t tell Lolly. She will one day, but for today, and tomorrow and the next she’ll keep it to herself.

The keeping it in part means circles and circles of thought about what will happen next. The jury is still out on only a few more options, and she wondered, which school will embrace her girl.  The swirls of thought were so overwhelming, she found herself quoting Gone with the Wind over and over again:

Scarlett: I can’t think about that right now. If I do, I’ll go crazy. I’ll think about that tomorrow.

Last night as she and Jason cleaned and straightened the house, they exchanged few words. It’s like they couldn’t give life to the news, the future, all those what-ifs and what-happeneds?  what’s next? When they did speak it was about a subject far from the one locked front and center in their brains.  At the end of the day she was left with this question: Dare I dream again?

School

School.

I am trying to find the words but I cannot.  It’s too hard to not be specific. And I don’t wish to be specific.

I will say that the stress, anxiety, wondering and worrying that goes with school in nyc, makes that private school price tag look less and less: It would buy me a little peace of mind and that is priceless.

The unknown future of my child and where she will be educated couldn’t be more dense.  It’s merky, unclear, sitting their like a black and mysterious curtain.

One thing I do know, this snowday has probably delayed some knowledge about school by at least one week. And a delay like that can only be compared to being told on your due date, that your due date is really in two weeks.  There is a lot of pain and suffering in your future and eventually joy.