I’ll never forget the image of thisiscarrie walking up the stairs from her apartment to mine, holding up her sewing machine to her chin and saying: “$50 bucks!” It was a question actually, and of course I said: “Sold!”
I think I have used it 3 times since then:
1. finish my crosstitched stockings. She helped me line and pipe them!
2. bean bags for an easter bean bag toss.
3. These tablecloths.
Ok, there has to be a few more…I just can’t remember right now.
Jason always wants to get rid of the sewing machine because it takes up space. I won’t let him. Someday I will sew more. Someday.
I’m not a great sewer. I skipped important steps for these, like ironing. I was also pretty intimidated by the round hem, but I just forged through. Lolly and Phoebz both helped with pinning, unpinning, pedaling and pushing. I was patient, they were excited, I think they learned something…and most importantly, the dolls are happy. Things get a little crazy around here when the dolls aren’t happy.
The overwhelming image is of me standing up straight, ready to walk, and I cannot take a step directly in front of me because the path makes a drastic split. Each path has a distinct label, I must choose THIS or THAT. And I know that even if I were to choose, THIS might not turn out to be THIS, and THAT might not turn out to be THAT.
So I’m sort of waiting for someone or something to jostle me to start walking down one or the other.
I have tried to choose a path before, tried to be totally in control of that choice, but I have learned in recent years that what I choose doesn’t necessarily turn out the way I expected.
I feel stuck. I feel a little numb to the choice. Gratefully I don’t feel numb in the dark, deep, depression place, I’m quite present in my life minute-by-minute. It’s the bigger picture that’s got me crocheting for hours a day because counting is more comforting than choosing.
I’m sort of okay with not choosing. I’ve learned a lot about patience since I broke my foot. I have learned about one step at a time. I think I can even walk in place for a while. At least I’m walking again.
I am trying something new.
It’s a new format.
First my friend bellcurve did it. Then thisiscarrie did it. And, designmom is tweeting about making the switch.
I am trying the switch. So far it’s been fun to learn about a new way of doing things. There are lots of kinks in the whole system right now, but I think they will work out over time. I think trying the new format will keep the brain oiled.
Behold: the first post.